Send your own ElfYourself eCards
Send your own ElfYourself eCards
Saturday, December 27, 2008
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Christmas photos
Merry Christmas from the Kistners!
Here is our failed attempt at a photo with our puppies... they would not cooperate!
Here is our failed attempt at a photo with our puppies... they would not cooperate!
Friday, December 19, 2008
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Our Christmas miracle
God truly is good! He has answered our prayers, and has brought us our Christmas miracle.
Mayo clinic called today to tell us that my cousin Brenda from Colorado is a match, and she is approved to be my kidney donor! My surgery is scheduled for January 6.
I am overwhelmed. I have the most incredible family, and an amazing, supportive, loving husband. My cousin is an angel! I know how proud my grandparents would be.
Please keep us in your prayers in the coming weeks as we prepare for the surgery.
In less than 6 weeks, I will have a new chance at life. Truly amazing.
I've found that it's in our darkest hour that God shines his light the brightest for us.
Abide with me; fast falls the eventide;
the darkness deepens; Lord, with me abide.
When other helpers fail and comforts flee,
Help of the helpless, O abide with me.
Swift to its close ebbs out life's little day;
earth's joys grow dim; its glories pass away;
change and decay in all around I see;
O thou who changest not, abide with me.
I need thy presence every passing hour.
What but thy grace can foil the tempter's power?
Who, like thyself, my guide and stay can be?
Through cloud and sunshine, Lord, abide with me.
I fear no foe, with thee at hand to bless;
ills have no weight, and tears not bitterness.
Where is death's sting? Where, grave, thy victory?
I triumph still, if thou abide with me.
Hold thou thy cross before my closing eyes;
shine through the gloom and point me to the skies.
Heaven's morning breaks, and earth's vain shadows flee;
in life, in death, O Lord, abide with me.
Mayo clinic called today to tell us that my cousin Brenda from Colorado is a match, and she is approved to be my kidney donor! My surgery is scheduled for January 6.
I am overwhelmed. I have the most incredible family, and an amazing, supportive, loving husband. My cousin is an angel! I know how proud my grandparents would be.
Please keep us in your prayers in the coming weeks as we prepare for the surgery.
In less than 6 weeks, I will have a new chance at life. Truly amazing.
I've found that it's in our darkest hour that God shines his light the brightest for us.
Abide with me; fast falls the eventide;
the darkness deepens; Lord, with me abide.
When other helpers fail and comforts flee,
Help of the helpless, O abide with me.
Swift to its close ebbs out life's little day;
earth's joys grow dim; its glories pass away;
change and decay in all around I see;
O thou who changest not, abide with me.
I need thy presence every passing hour.
What but thy grace can foil the tempter's power?
Who, like thyself, my guide and stay can be?
Through cloud and sunshine, Lord, abide with me.
I fear no foe, with thee at hand to bless;
ills have no weight, and tears not bitterness.
Where is death's sting? Where, grave, thy victory?
I triumph still, if thou abide with me.
Hold thou thy cross before my closing eyes;
shine through the gloom and point me to the skies.
Heaven's morning breaks, and earth's vain shadows flee;
in life, in death, O Lord, abide with me.
Friday, November 28, 2008
Cousin Brenda's visit
As most of you already know, my cousin Brenda has been here all week to finish her testing to be my donor. Brenda lives just outside Denver; she has been with us since Friday & leaves today around 5pm.
We had a GREAT week and loved having Brenda with us. It was especially nice to have her here to share Thanksgiving with us. I really loved being able to get to know her better. Even if things don't work out for her to be my donor, this has been such a great experience and I have loved having her here with us.
My grandparents instilled a very strong "family first" value in all of their children. I know they are with us, and they would be so proud that Brenda is willing to give me this wonderful gift.
Things went well at Mayo Clinic. There were several key things they were looking for: blood type, cross-match, antigens, and MRI results. Her blood type we already knew was O+. To find out if there is a cross-match, they mixed her blood & mine together in the lab to see if they would be compatible, or reject each other. We had a negative cross-match, which means our blood was compatible (which is good). There are 6 antigens they look at- they are genetic markers, we get 3 from each parent for a total of 6. They can now take someone to be a donor even if they have zero mathing antigens, because the rejection medications have improved so much. But of course, the more antigens that match the better. We matched 3 out of 6, which is great. The MRI looks at the size of the artery going into the donor's kidney, and it also looks to see if there is one artery or two going into the kdiney. Narrow arteries could cause an increased risk for blood clots for the recipient (me). And most people have one artery going into each kidney- some folks have two, and that makes the kidney not suitable to be donated. Everything on my cousin's MRI looked great.
Her file goes to the comittee on Tuesday. We should be getting a phone call on Wednesday, so keep us in your prayers.
If Brenda is a match, Mayo has told us we can have the surgery as early as mid-December. But we have decided to wait till early January. That seems best for everyone.
I am nervous. I feel like we are so close. Spending so much time around all our friends & family who have babies has only deepened our longing to have a family of our own. We love spending this time with everyone, but when everyone goes home & the house it quiet again, the saddness settles in. But we have to just keep moving forward & hoping. If I have the surgery soon, maybe nexy holiday season we will be able to start trying again.
I hope everyone has a happy holiday!!
We had a GREAT week and loved having Brenda with us. It was especially nice to have her here to share Thanksgiving with us. I really loved being able to get to know her better. Even if things don't work out for her to be my donor, this has been such a great experience and I have loved having her here with us.
My grandparents instilled a very strong "family first" value in all of their children. I know they are with us, and they would be so proud that Brenda is willing to give me this wonderful gift.
Things went well at Mayo Clinic. There were several key things they were looking for: blood type, cross-match, antigens, and MRI results. Her blood type we already knew was O+. To find out if there is a cross-match, they mixed her blood & mine together in the lab to see if they would be compatible, or reject each other. We had a negative cross-match, which means our blood was compatible (which is good). There are 6 antigens they look at- they are genetic markers, we get 3 from each parent for a total of 6. They can now take someone to be a donor even if they have zero mathing antigens, because the rejection medications have improved so much. But of course, the more antigens that match the better. We matched 3 out of 6, which is great. The MRI looks at the size of the artery going into the donor's kidney, and it also looks to see if there is one artery or two going into the kdiney. Narrow arteries could cause an increased risk for blood clots for the recipient (me). And most people have one artery going into each kidney- some folks have two, and that makes the kidney not suitable to be donated. Everything on my cousin's MRI looked great.
Her file goes to the comittee on Tuesday. We should be getting a phone call on Wednesday, so keep us in your prayers.
If Brenda is a match, Mayo has told us we can have the surgery as early as mid-December. But we have decided to wait till early January. That seems best for everyone.
I am nervous. I feel like we are so close. Spending so much time around all our friends & family who have babies has only deepened our longing to have a family of our own. We love spending this time with everyone, but when everyone goes home & the house it quiet again, the saddness settles in. But we have to just keep moving forward & hoping. If I have the surgery soon, maybe nexy holiday season we will be able to start trying again.
I hope everyone has a happy holiday!!
Friday, November 14, 2008
Benefit Flyer!
I am so proud of myself. I have never really used MS Publisher before, and look what I made!
I also made a simpler, half-page flyer for us to hand out to folks we run into.
I also made a simpler, half-page flyer for us to hand out to folks we run into.
Thursday, November 13, 2008
BECOME AN ORGAN DONOR!!!
I wanted to share this article that was recently posted on UNOS' website (United Network for Organ Sharing.
Release Date:
10/08/2008
U.S. Transplant Waiting List Passes 100,000
As of Oct. 6, 2008, more than 100,000 people were registered awaiting an organ transplant from a deceased donor at U.S. transplant centers. This is the first time that threshold has been exceeded.
The kidney is the organ most commonly needed and most commonly transplanted. More than 400,000 people in the United States are being treated for end-stage kidney failure, and of those more than 76,000 are listed for a deceased donor kidney transplant. The kidney waiting list has increased by 42 percent since January 2004, while the liver list has decreased by four percent and the heart list has decreased by 23 percent over the same time period.
This occurs at a time when the overall number of transplants has increased more than 11 percent since 2003, and reported deaths on the transplant wait list have decreased each year since 2004. Yet this milestone serves as a reminder to us all of the growing need, and of the opportunity for society to help meet the need through donation.
Many efforts continue to increase organ donation and recover as many usable organs as possible from these donors. These include HRSA-sponsored collaboratives to identify and share best practices, ongoing awareness campaigns such as those conducted by Donate Life America, and numerous professional education and community-based awareness initiatives.
NOTE: At any given moment, not all patients who are listed are actively awaiting a transplant. Those who are in inactive status have been evaluated and accepted by a transplant center. They are not actively eligible for an organ offer due to their current health status, incomplete insurance/financial arrangements or other reasons. These individuals could be reactivated by their transplant center at any time without losing priority for an organ offer. Both active and inactive candidates are reflected in statistics of those who die awaiting transplantation (nearly 6,700 in 2007).
http://www.unos.org/news/newsDetail.asp?id=1165
As of 12:13pm EST today, 100,535 people in the U.S. are awaiting an organ transplant....
It is SO EASY to become an organ donor. Visit your local DMV office, and they can get your signed up.
THE BASIC FACTS
• On average eighteen people die everyday in the U.S. while awaiting a lifesaving organ transplant."
• The total number of patients waiting for an organ transplant today numbers more than 100,000. More than one-third of them will die before a donor can be found.
• The waiting list for organ transplants is growing at the rate of 1,000 per month. Another name is added to the waiting list every 13 minutes.
• A total of 28,352 organ transplants were performed in the United States during 2007.
• Yet in 2007, there were only 8,087 people who donated one or more organs upon death. There were another 6,306 living organ donors.
• In 2007, 6,411 Americans - one every 90 minutes - died while waiting for a transplant.
• The refusal rate among families of potential donors nationwide is around 50 percent. However, a recent Gallup poll found 93% of respondents willing to donate a deceased family member's organs if he or she had expressed this wish prior to death. It is very important to sighn up on the Daonate Life California Regisrty. Either through the DMV when you apply for or renew you driver license.
• Transplantation is no longer considered experimental. It is a desired treatment for thousands with end-stage organ disease. Each year, approximately 900,000 Americans receive tissue transplants and mor than 28,000 receive organ transplants.
• In recent years, medical breakthroughs have greatly improved the success rate for transplantation... it now generally runs in excess of 80% for transplants overall.
• Currently, only about 8,000 of the approximately 15,000 medically suitable potential donors actually donate each year. Only about one third of the donation potential is being realized.
• Under ideal conditions, one donor can supply as many as 8 organs (heart, 2 lungs, liver, pancreas, 2 kidneys, and intestine). At today's average recovery rate, the current pool of potential donors could meet the needs of up to 50,000 people per year.
Also, to dispel some myths and misconceptions:
• Becoming a donor will not affect the quality of your medical care. Organ recovery takes place only after all efforts to save your life have been exhausted, and 2 doctors have declared you legally brain dead. The donor family pays none of the costs associated with donation. If you are a donor, you can have an open casket funeral.
• Transplants are accessible and available to everyone. Celebrity status and wealth do not enter into the equation. Organs are allocated according to medical criteria (urgency of medical need, blood/tissue type, height and weight).
• All major religions support or permit donation and consider it a gift, an act of charity.
Release Date:
10/08/2008
U.S. Transplant Waiting List Passes 100,000
As of Oct. 6, 2008, more than 100,000 people were registered awaiting an organ transplant from a deceased donor at U.S. transplant centers. This is the first time that threshold has been exceeded.
The kidney is the organ most commonly needed and most commonly transplanted. More than 400,000 people in the United States are being treated for end-stage kidney failure, and of those more than 76,000 are listed for a deceased donor kidney transplant. The kidney waiting list has increased by 42 percent since January 2004, while the liver list has decreased by four percent and the heart list has decreased by 23 percent over the same time period.
This occurs at a time when the overall number of transplants has increased more than 11 percent since 2003, and reported deaths on the transplant wait list have decreased each year since 2004. Yet this milestone serves as a reminder to us all of the growing need, and of the opportunity for society to help meet the need through donation.
Many efforts continue to increase organ donation and recover as many usable organs as possible from these donors. These include HRSA-sponsored collaboratives to identify and share best practices, ongoing awareness campaigns such as those conducted by Donate Life America, and numerous professional education and community-based awareness initiatives.
NOTE: At any given moment, not all patients who are listed are actively awaiting a transplant. Those who are in inactive status have been evaluated and accepted by a transplant center. They are not actively eligible for an organ offer due to their current health status, incomplete insurance/financial arrangements or other reasons. These individuals could be reactivated by their transplant center at any time without losing priority for an organ offer. Both active and inactive candidates are reflected in statistics of those who die awaiting transplantation (nearly 6,700 in 2007).
http://www.unos.org/news/newsDetail.asp?id=1165
As of 12:13pm EST today, 100,535 people in the U.S. are awaiting an organ transplant....
It is SO EASY to become an organ donor. Visit your local DMV office, and they can get your signed up.
THE BASIC FACTS
• On average eighteen people die everyday in the U.S. while awaiting a lifesaving organ transplant."
• The total number of patients waiting for an organ transplant today numbers more than 100,000. More than one-third of them will die before a donor can be found.
• The waiting list for organ transplants is growing at the rate of 1,000 per month. Another name is added to the waiting list every 13 minutes.
• A total of 28,352 organ transplants were performed in the United States during 2007.
• Yet in 2007, there were only 8,087 people who donated one or more organs upon death. There were another 6,306 living organ donors.
• In 2007, 6,411 Americans - one every 90 minutes - died while waiting for a transplant.
• The refusal rate among families of potential donors nationwide is around 50 percent. However, a recent Gallup poll found 93% of respondents willing to donate a deceased family member's organs if he or she had expressed this wish prior to death. It is very important to sighn up on the Daonate Life California Regisrty. Either through the DMV when you apply for or renew you driver license.
• Transplantation is no longer considered experimental. It is a desired treatment for thousands with end-stage organ disease. Each year, approximately 900,000 Americans receive tissue transplants and mor than 28,000 receive organ transplants.
• In recent years, medical breakthroughs have greatly improved the success rate for transplantation... it now generally runs in excess of 80% for transplants overall.
• Currently, only about 8,000 of the approximately 15,000 medically suitable potential donors actually donate each year. Only about one third of the donation potential is being realized.
• Under ideal conditions, one donor can supply as many as 8 organs (heart, 2 lungs, liver, pancreas, 2 kidneys, and intestine). At today's average recovery rate, the current pool of potential donors could meet the needs of up to 50,000 people per year.
Also, to dispel some myths and misconceptions:
• Becoming a donor will not affect the quality of your medical care. Organ recovery takes place only after all efforts to save your life have been exhausted, and 2 doctors have declared you legally brain dead. The donor family pays none of the costs associated with donation. If you are a donor, you can have an open casket funeral.
• Transplants are accessible and available to everyone. Celebrity status and wealth do not enter into the equation. Organs are allocated according to medical criteria (urgency of medical need, blood/tissue type, height and weight).
• All major religions support or permit donation and consider it a gift, an act of charity.
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
The Twins are here!
My bestie Lisa had her twins on Friday! Identical boys. :) Born 11/7/08 @ 10:25 & 10:26am by c-section. Preston Ryan was 5lbs 5oz 18", and Hunter Paul was 6lbs 10oz 19". Big boys for twins!!
Mommy & babies are all home now & doing great! I am going to visit them again today with my other bestie Carissa and her son Trey Donovan, who is 9 months old. Yay!
Preston Ryan
Hunter Paul
Auntie Erin & Hunter
Auntie Erin & Preston
Uncle Rick with the future Florida quarterback!
Not sure who this is.....
Mommy & babies are all home now & doing great! I am going to visit them again today with my other bestie Carissa and her son Trey Donovan, who is 9 months old. Yay!
Preston Ryan
Hunter Paul
Auntie Erin & Hunter
Auntie Erin & Preston
Uncle Rick with the future Florida quarterback!
Not sure who this is.....
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Exciting news
Mayo called my cousin Brenda today- they have scheduled her to finish her testing here in Jacksonville! She will be there the week of Thanksgiving- how fun that we get to have her here for the holiday. :)
She has testing on Nov 24, 25, 26, & 28. A busy week! But we are very excited, and looking forward to seeing part of the West Coast Gillooly clan.
Everyone, please pray for my cousin! Pray for a safe trip, and many blessings on her for being willing to give me such an amazing gift.
We're getting closer, but not there yet. So keep those prayers coming!
She has testing on Nov 24, 25, 26, & 28. A busy week! But we are very excited, and looking forward to seeing part of the West Coast Gillooly clan.
Everyone, please pray for my cousin! Pray for a safe trip, and many blessings on her for being willing to give me such an amazing gift.
We're getting closer, but not there yet. So keep those prayers coming!
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Wow....
I think this about sums it up....
Scary. Reeeally scary. And unfortunately, not an uncommon thought process...
Scary. Reeeally scary. And unfortunately, not an uncommon thought process...
Monday, November 3, 2008
Benefit #1
Plans are in the works for the first of hopefully several benefit events for my medical expenses. My best friend Carissa- her sister-in-law is a wedding/ event planner & she has offered to put this evening together for me! She has created a blog for the event:
http://www.supportorgandonation.blogspot.com/
We are having a dinner, silent auction, cabaret performance from local professional theatre folks, and dancing w/ a DJ. Should be a fun night!
We are also going to talk about organ donation. We will present some facts & answers some FAQ's, and provide info & resources to get folks registered to be an organ donor.
Right now we are working on drumming up donations for the silent auction. So far we have some really great items!
Stay tuned for more details.
http://www.supportorgandonation.blogspot.com/
We are having a dinner, silent auction, cabaret performance from local professional theatre folks, and dancing w/ a DJ. Should be a fun night!
We are also going to talk about organ donation. We will present some facts & answers some FAQ's, and provide info & resources to get folks registered to be an organ donor.
Right now we are working on drumming up donations for the silent auction. So far we have some really great items!
Stay tuned for more details.
Friday, October 31, 2008
Update
I spoke with my cousin Brenda via email this week, and we are moving along well in the donor screening process. Brenda is in Colordao- on Tuesday, she had some more blood tests, an EKG, and started a 24-hour urine collection. Which I have done several times, and it is less than a pleasant chore...
She is having a chest Xray & an ultrasound done this afternoon. The living donor coordinator told Brenda to give it about a week, and then call her to make sure the results are getting to Mayo.
After that, the rest of the testing must be done here at Mayo. They have told Brenda they are working on getting her set up to come to Mayo in about 4 weeks. So, we might possibly get to visit with her for the Thanksgiving holiday! We are all looking forward to getting to spend some time with her. I haven't seen Brenda since my cousin Molly's wedding. Which was... um... when was Molly's wedding? Was it really 4 years ago?? Time sure does fly.
I didn't have time to 'scare' up a costume for work this year. So, this is my ghetto costume. Guess who I am...
Happy Halloween to all!
She is having a chest Xray & an ultrasound done this afternoon. The living donor coordinator told Brenda to give it about a week, and then call her to make sure the results are getting to Mayo.
After that, the rest of the testing must be done here at Mayo. They have told Brenda they are working on getting her set up to come to Mayo in about 4 weeks. So, we might possibly get to visit with her for the Thanksgiving holiday! We are all looking forward to getting to spend some time with her. I haven't seen Brenda since my cousin Molly's wedding. Which was... um... when was Molly's wedding? Was it really 4 years ago?? Time sure does fly.
I didn't have time to 'scare' up a costume for work this year. So, this is my ghetto costume. Guess who I am...
Happy Halloween to all!
Thursday, October 23, 2008
My first riding lesson
As I mentioned, I have started learning to ride horses. Strictly for pleasure; no shows or anything (for now). All I know is that I love the animals & enjoy riding them! There's an awful lot to learn.
I've only had one lesson so far but I enjoyed it, and I only fell off once, haha.
No photos yet, but next Friday when I go back (I have a wedding rehearsal to attend this Friday) I will take some.
Amanda, who I am learning from, is my sister Michel's best friend. She has been on horses as long as she can remember. She said she doesn't really remember learning, so she is worried about giving me 'proper' instruction. But honestly, I just want to learn how to ride for my own enjoyment.
She lives out in Glen Saint Mary on a little over 2 acres & has two horses, Sage & Midnight. They are both very friendly, but they are 'spirited'. Sage is a 4-yr old gelding Quarter Horse, he is kind of a caramel color. He was rescued from a barn that got shut down here in Jax a few years ago because of animal cruelty. They rescued something like 50 horses. Sage looked awful when she got him; he has put on almost 200 lbs & is a beautiful animal, but he hasn't been worked with enough to make him very obedient or confident. He is actually somewhat of a fraidy cat when you take him off her property, because he simply doesn't know what alot of stuff is. He also was very neglected at the barn he was rescued from, and they hardly ever worked with him.
Midnight is a 14-year old Quarter horse mare. She has only had 2 owners- Amanda, and the lady she bought her from. She is all black with just a tiny spot of white between her eyes and her rear ankles. Amanda bought her from a friend who had raised horses her whole life, but wanted to sell Midnight because she had thrown the lady, fell on her & landed her in the hospital. (This is information that was given to em after I had been riding her for an hour!)
She is very friendly, but she just has her own ideas about what is going on & if she doesn't like your agenda, well that's too bad!
She warned me that her horses are not exactly good horses for a beginner.....
Midnight also does NOT like the saddle strapped too tightly. Every time we tried to tighten it, she would pooch her belly out & just stand there looking at us... we finally settled on it being a little lose instead of aggravating her, because it was my first time on her. I only planned on walking her slowly.
We rode around in the yard for at least an hour, just kind of getting the hang of some commands. She really was being good, so I asked Amanda if we could take them off the property for a walk.
Sage is kind of pokey; he is a bit lazy. But Midnight wants to move quickly everywhere. She gets impatient walking or standing. She had been behaving pretty well & listening to me- we were riding back to the house after walking around for a good hour or so, and since Sage was really dragging along, Amanda kind of took off ahead of me. Well Midnight did NOT want to be behind him (no one told me she prefers to be in the lead all the time!), and when he got ahead of her she took off. I just started riding, and all I know how to do on a horse right now is WALK!
The slightly not-tight saddle kind of rolled over to the right a little bit, which left me sort of half hanging off. I wasn't sure what to do & all I could picture was going underneath her feet, so instinctually (instead of falling under her), I leaned forward & grabbed on to her hair. Big mistake! Of course, to a horse that means "LET"S GO!" and that's exactly what she did. I felt her back feet come up off the ground as she started to gallop & I panicked, so I kicked my left foot out of the stirrup, and then pretty much jumped off. I hit the ground and kind of rolled; at some point I twisted my ankle pretty good. Not sure if I did that while bailing, or when I hit the ground. It's bruised and it's still sore, but it'll be fine! I had some other fun bruises appear over the course of this week, and my knee on my other leg has been hurting, but it feels much better now. I wanted to learn, and falling off is something I have to learn too.
I think Midnight thought I was stupid... As soon as she realized I wasn't with her anymore, she stopped & turned around. I think she was thinking, "why did you do that....?"
It's mostly my lack of experience that caused the fall. I really had to talk Amanda into leaving the yard, and then after my spill she felt really bad. We had actually turned around to head home at Amanda's suggestion a few minutes before the fall. Sage had seen some trash on the ground that scared him (I told you he is a chicken), and he was nervous, and Midnight was feeding off his agitation.
Amanda wants us to definitely stay in the ring next time. We are going to put Midnight on the lunge line, and I will ride her with Amanda walking with us, and we are going to practice going from walking to a trot and back to walking for awhile, so I get a better feel of both and how to control my own body when the horse is doing each. I think I just got excited & wanted to move too quickly. I've always wanted to do this, and being sick has kind of made me a little more brave- I know I am not knocking on death's door, but I figure I might as well do all the things I've wanted to do before I am physically unable to do them.
So, now I am in the market for some very simple & basic riding gear. I need some boots, jeans that are better for riding (no breeches yet- they are expensive!), possibly some half chaps, and definitely a helmet.
I've only had one lesson so far but I enjoyed it, and I only fell off once, haha.
No photos yet, but next Friday when I go back (I have a wedding rehearsal to attend this Friday) I will take some.
Amanda, who I am learning from, is my sister Michel's best friend. She has been on horses as long as she can remember. She said she doesn't really remember learning, so she is worried about giving me 'proper' instruction. But honestly, I just want to learn how to ride for my own enjoyment.
She lives out in Glen Saint Mary on a little over 2 acres & has two horses, Sage & Midnight. They are both very friendly, but they are 'spirited'. Sage is a 4-yr old gelding Quarter Horse, he is kind of a caramel color. He was rescued from a barn that got shut down here in Jax a few years ago because of animal cruelty. They rescued something like 50 horses. Sage looked awful when she got him; he has put on almost 200 lbs & is a beautiful animal, but he hasn't been worked with enough to make him very obedient or confident. He is actually somewhat of a fraidy cat when you take him off her property, because he simply doesn't know what alot of stuff is. He also was very neglected at the barn he was rescued from, and they hardly ever worked with him.
Midnight is a 14-year old Quarter horse mare. She has only had 2 owners- Amanda, and the lady she bought her from. She is all black with just a tiny spot of white between her eyes and her rear ankles. Amanda bought her from a friend who had raised horses her whole life, but wanted to sell Midnight because she had thrown the lady, fell on her & landed her in the hospital. (This is information that was given to em after I had been riding her for an hour!)
She is very friendly, but she just has her own ideas about what is going on & if she doesn't like your agenda, well that's too bad!
She warned me that her horses are not exactly good horses for a beginner.....
Midnight also does NOT like the saddle strapped too tightly. Every time we tried to tighten it, she would pooch her belly out & just stand there looking at us... we finally settled on it being a little lose instead of aggravating her, because it was my first time on her. I only planned on walking her slowly.
We rode around in the yard for at least an hour, just kind of getting the hang of some commands. She really was being good, so I asked Amanda if we could take them off the property for a walk.
Sage is kind of pokey; he is a bit lazy. But Midnight wants to move quickly everywhere. She gets impatient walking or standing. She had been behaving pretty well & listening to me- we were riding back to the house after walking around for a good hour or so, and since Sage was really dragging along, Amanda kind of took off ahead of me. Well Midnight did NOT want to be behind him (no one told me she prefers to be in the lead all the time!), and when he got ahead of her she took off. I just started riding, and all I know how to do on a horse right now is WALK!
The slightly not-tight saddle kind of rolled over to the right a little bit, which left me sort of half hanging off. I wasn't sure what to do & all I could picture was going underneath her feet, so instinctually (instead of falling under her), I leaned forward & grabbed on to her hair. Big mistake! Of course, to a horse that means "LET"S GO!" and that's exactly what she did. I felt her back feet come up off the ground as she started to gallop & I panicked, so I kicked my left foot out of the stirrup, and then pretty much jumped off. I hit the ground and kind of rolled; at some point I twisted my ankle pretty good. Not sure if I did that while bailing, or when I hit the ground. It's bruised and it's still sore, but it'll be fine! I had some other fun bruises appear over the course of this week, and my knee on my other leg has been hurting, but it feels much better now. I wanted to learn, and falling off is something I have to learn too.
I think Midnight thought I was stupid... As soon as she realized I wasn't with her anymore, she stopped & turned around. I think she was thinking, "why did you do that....?"
It's mostly my lack of experience that caused the fall. I really had to talk Amanda into leaving the yard, and then after my spill she felt really bad. We had actually turned around to head home at Amanda's suggestion a few minutes before the fall. Sage had seen some trash on the ground that scared him (I told you he is a chicken), and he was nervous, and Midnight was feeding off his agitation.
Amanda wants us to definitely stay in the ring next time. We are going to put Midnight on the lunge line, and I will ride her with Amanda walking with us, and we are going to practice going from walking to a trot and back to walking for awhile, so I get a better feel of both and how to control my own body when the horse is doing each. I think I just got excited & wanted to move too quickly. I've always wanted to do this, and being sick has kind of made me a little more brave- I know I am not knocking on death's door, but I figure I might as well do all the things I've wanted to do before I am physically unable to do them.
So, now I am in the market for some very simple & basic riding gear. I need some boots, jeans that are better for riding (no breeches yet- they are expensive!), possibly some half chaps, and definitely a helmet.
I've been tagged
My friend Mandi tagged me to do this post!
The challenge was:
Go to your folder of pictures on your computer. Open the 4th folder, and upload the 4the picture, then explain it.
HAHAHAHA
OK so... This is from the Cinco de Mayo party the girls in my office had in '06. L to R: Susan, me, Meredith. Not alot of explanation needed other than it was a long night....
The challenge was:
Go to your folder of pictures on your computer. Open the 4th folder, and upload the 4the picture, then explain it.
HAHAHAHA
OK so... This is from the Cinco de Mayo party the girls in my office had in '06. L to R: Susan, me, Meredith. Not alot of explanation needed other than it was a long night....
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Finally a little good news
Sorry for the delay in posting; things have been pretty busy both at work & home.
Good news- my cousin Brenda has passed the first step to being a donor. Her bloodwork matched & they confirmed she is the right type. I am not sure what if any other things they did in the initial bloodowork. Now she has alot of testing- things like xrays, EKGs, physical, etc. She can do about 80% of the next tests at her home (Colorado). The remaining tests will have to be done here at Mayo in Jax. So we are moving forward; its encouraging that we are actually getting somewhere instead of feeling like I am just sitting around getting sicker.
I had a follow-up with my rheumatologist last week and she took some blood samples. When she first saw me 6 months ago, there were some slight indicators of lupus or something similar, and even though she had pretty much ruled out lupus, she wanted to be sure that those things had cleared up (signs of inflammation in my body, which can be pregnancy-related, or lupus-related). She also checked some other things, including my creatanine (kidney function indicator).
When I saw my nephrologist 6 weeks ago, my creatanine was around 3.7 (I think), which means about 18% remaining kidney function. But, the bloodwork I did last week had my creatnine around 2.3. Which is slighty better! This is good news. For now, my kidneys are working a little better than they were 6 weeks ago. The longer they stay at the level they are at & don't get worse, the longer I don't have to have dialysis.
Oh, I also started to learn to ride horses. That is an adventure I will save for another post, because it is way past my bedtime.
Good news- my cousin Brenda has passed the first step to being a donor. Her bloodwork matched & they confirmed she is the right type. I am not sure what if any other things they did in the initial bloodowork. Now she has alot of testing- things like xrays, EKGs, physical, etc. She can do about 80% of the next tests at her home (Colorado). The remaining tests will have to be done here at Mayo in Jax. So we are moving forward; its encouraging that we are actually getting somewhere instead of feeling like I am just sitting around getting sicker.
I had a follow-up with my rheumatologist last week and she took some blood samples. When she first saw me 6 months ago, there were some slight indicators of lupus or something similar, and even though she had pretty much ruled out lupus, she wanted to be sure that those things had cleared up (signs of inflammation in my body, which can be pregnancy-related, or lupus-related). She also checked some other things, including my creatanine (kidney function indicator).
When I saw my nephrologist 6 weeks ago, my creatanine was around 3.7 (I think), which means about 18% remaining kidney function. But, the bloodwork I did last week had my creatnine around 2.3. Which is slighty better! This is good news. For now, my kidneys are working a little better than they were 6 weeks ago. The longer they stay at the level they are at & don't get worse, the longer I don't have to have dialysis.
Oh, I also started to learn to ride horses. That is an adventure I will save for another post, because it is way past my bedtime.
Friday, October 17, 2008
More Muppet Fun
Here are a few more to keep you laughing. I love the Muppets!!!!
This one.... LOL!!! Watch each Muppet... they're all doing their own thing.
This one.... LOL!!! Watch each Muppet... they're all doing their own thing.
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Bicitra
I am now taking a medication called Bicitra. It is a clear liquid, I drink 2 tbsp. twice a day, diluted in water. It is because I have renal tubular acidosis, which basically means too much acid in my blood because my kidneys are not filtering it out. Bicitra, simply put, is baking soda for my blood. Keeping my acid levels down is very important in order to keep me off dialysis.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Renal_tubular_acidosis
http://www.mamashealth.com/kidney/rta.asp
Bicitra tries to fool you- you open the bottle & it's clear, seemingly innocuous and has a pleasant grape-flavored scent. Kind of like Dimetap. I like the taste of Dimetap, so I figured it wouldn't be so bad. Wrong! This stuff is seriously nasty. It's very salty-tasting, bitter, and it leaves a film in your mouth & on your lips.
So now, I have to drink this crap twice a day. I'd much rather start the day with coffee & end it with wine, but such is life.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Renal_tubular_acidosis
http://www.mamashealth.com/kidney/rta.asp
Bicitra tries to fool you- you open the bottle & it's clear, seemingly innocuous and has a pleasant grape-flavored scent. Kind of like Dimetap. I like the taste of Dimetap, so I figured it wouldn't be so bad. Wrong! This stuff is seriously nasty. It's very salty-tasting, bitter, and it leaves a film in your mouth & on your lips.
So now, I have to drink this crap twice a day. I'd much rather start the day with coffee & end it with wine, but such is life.
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Grandpa Reller
Sorry for my extended absence; things have been hectic at home. Rick's Grandpa Reller passed away Sunday night. He lived in Hendersonville, TN; Bruce & Beth (Rick's folks) go up there regularly to visit, usually every 4-6 weeks. Grandpa has been in poor health for several years now. He had a stroke awhile back, and he also had lung problems & had a really difficult time breathing, even with supplemental oxygen. He has been unable to travel for about 3 years.
Bruce & Beth were up there this past weekend for their regular visit, and Grandpa had an episode on Friday- my understanding is that they think he had another stroke. He had no physical strengh left, and then the 2 men tried to help him off the couch he collapsed. I was told he was in alot of pain, so they administered morphine. The ambulance was called, but Grandpa put up a fight. His wish has always been to stay home- which I totally understand. So, Hospice agreed to stay with him, and Grandpa was able to stay home.
I think he was just finally ready; finally done with being sick & in pain & unable to live any kind of quality life. He was 83 years old, I think. He passed peacefully, at home with all 7 of his children at his bedside.
We are leaving early Friday morning to drive up there, along with David & Mary (Rick's brother & his wife). The service will be on Saturday, followed by a big family party at Grandpa's house. Thats what he wanted. :) I told Rick, "You're having what the Irish folk call a wake".
Rick is doing OK for the most part. He is the oldest Reller grandchild, and has a lifetime of vivid memories of Grandpa. He is very sad, but I know he is glad Grandpa isn't suffering anymore. But we have had a pretty rough year. A year full of loss. Grandpa Reller, my Uncle Skip, and our beautiful daughter, all gone within 6 months.
Bruce & Beth were up there this past weekend for their regular visit, and Grandpa had an episode on Friday- my understanding is that they think he had another stroke. He had no physical strengh left, and then the 2 men tried to help him off the couch he collapsed. I was told he was in alot of pain, so they administered morphine. The ambulance was called, but Grandpa put up a fight. His wish has always been to stay home- which I totally understand. So, Hospice agreed to stay with him, and Grandpa was able to stay home.
I think he was just finally ready; finally done with being sick & in pain & unable to live any kind of quality life. He was 83 years old, I think. He passed peacefully, at home with all 7 of his children at his bedside.
We are leaving early Friday morning to drive up there, along with David & Mary (Rick's brother & his wife). The service will be on Saturday, followed by a big family party at Grandpa's house. Thats what he wanted. :) I told Rick, "You're having what the Irish folk call a wake".
Rick is doing OK for the most part. He is the oldest Reller grandchild, and has a lifetime of vivid memories of Grandpa. He is very sad, but I know he is glad Grandpa isn't suffering anymore. But we have had a pretty rough year. A year full of loss. Grandpa Reller, my Uncle Skip, and our beautiful daughter, all gone within 6 months.
Saturday, September 27, 2008
Robert's visit
My brother Robert came to visit this weekend! He has been talking to Dad about planning a trip down here (he lives in Mississippi with his wife Carla & stepson Decarol). My sister Michel was coming to Jax from SC this weekend- her husband Mark & Chel's son Anthony had a paintball tournament here in town. So, Robert decided this would be the perfect time to visit since everyone would be here.
We all had a great time!! I haven't seen Robert in a few years and I was so happy he was able to come down here. We had a family dinner at Rick & I's house last night- the weather was beautiful, it was almost a cool night & a few of us sat outside to eat. We played some pool & darts in Rick's game room, and just hung out & got caught up.
I can't tell you how happy it made my Dad to spend this week with Robert. He is worn out but they had such a great time.
Check out my photobucket for more pictures!
http://s343.photobucket.com/albums/o464/thekistners/Robert%20n%20Chels%20Visit%209-27-08/
We all had a great time!! I haven't seen Robert in a few years and I was so happy he was able to come down here. We had a family dinner at Rick & I's house last night- the weather was beautiful, it was almost a cool night & a few of us sat outside to eat. We played some pool & darts in Rick's game room, and just hung out & got caught up.
I can't tell you how happy it made my Dad to spend this week with Robert. He is worn out but they had such a great time.
Check out my photobucket for more pictures!
http://s343.photobucket.com/albums/o464/thekistners/Robert%20n%20Chels%20Visit%209-27-08/
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Hematologist appointment
I had my follow-up with the hematologist yesterday; we went over my bloodwork from a few weeks ago. He said I am still anemic, but not nearly as badly as when I was post-pardum. So the anemia was not caused by the pregnancy, just aggravated by it. My iron is still significantly low, as is my hemogloben & some other blood stuff that I can't remember the names of.
He said he could just put me back on the Procrit shots, but since I am only mildly anemic, he doesn't want to resort to that just yet. So, he wants me to start taking an over-the-counter iron supplement 3 times a day, if my stomach can tolerate it. If my tummy finds this disagreeable, I can back it off to 2 times a day or 1 if I really need to, but he would prefer 3. I also have to take a calcium supplement along with the iron pills, because calcium helps the body in absorbing the iron properly. He was going to suggest I drink orange juice, but I can't because it's full of potassium.
He said that once we get my iron levels up, there is a possibility that there will be an increase of the hormone that my kidneys send to my bone marrow to tell it how many blood cells to make. I have to do more bloodwork in 4 weeks, and if my iron levels are still low, he said I will have to probably get iron supplementation via I.V.. Which sounds unpleasant to me, so I'd like to avoid it if possible.
I go back to see him in 5 weeks, so more updates to come.
He said he could just put me back on the Procrit shots, but since I am only mildly anemic, he doesn't want to resort to that just yet. So, he wants me to start taking an over-the-counter iron supplement 3 times a day, if my stomach can tolerate it. If my tummy finds this disagreeable, I can back it off to 2 times a day or 1 if I really need to, but he would prefer 3. I also have to take a calcium supplement along with the iron pills, because calcium helps the body in absorbing the iron properly. He was going to suggest I drink orange juice, but I can't because it's full of potassium.
He said that once we get my iron levels up, there is a possibility that there will be an increase of the hormone that my kidneys send to my bone marrow to tell it how many blood cells to make. I have to do more bloodwork in 4 weeks, and if my iron levels are still low, he said I will have to probably get iron supplementation via I.V.. Which sounds unpleasant to me, so I'd like to avoid it if possible.
I go back to see him in 5 weeks, so more updates to come.
Monday, September 15, 2008
Cholesterol & Animal messengers
Rick's bloodowork came back- he is not diabetic, which is great. But, his cholesterol was high, which is not so great. So, we are both on the diet bandwagon together. It's tough; we both love Southern style home cooking, but we are trying to stick to the adjustments.
Mayo clinic has sent my cousin Brenda the vials for her to get her blood typed, so we can see if she is a possible match. Everyone please continue to keep our families in your prayers.
Today after we got home, we let the dogs out & then I went back inside. Rick went to go get the mail, and he called me outside to come look at something. A really lovely butterfly had found it's final resting place just beside our driveway. It must have floated down from somewhere right after we went inside. It was nice, we stopped for a few moments to admire it & life slowed down for a minute after a crazy day. It was very fragile; I still don't know how it made it into our yard in one piece. I wondered what message it was trying to bring us?
Not everyone feels that animals have a soul or a spirit but I do. I also think they try & communicate with us, I think they try and be messengers & want us to be part of their life journey too. While I very strongly consider myself a Christian, I still believe the rest of God's creation has a spirit. I have always had a special love for animals, and even though having 5 animals in my small house can get crazy, they remind me every day what life should be like. They love without limit, are the most faithful friends you could ever ask for, and all they ask for in return is our love.
So, tonight I looked up butterflies online. I found it very intriguing:
"Butterfly spends the first part of its life crawling the earth, before metamorphosis leads it to spin a home for stasis (known as a cocoon). After transforming, Butterfly is reborn as various beautiful colored winged creatures of the air.
This insect is extremely sensitive to the Harmony of Earth, and is the first creature to leave a damaged ecology. Butterfly's graceful dancing-like appearance on flowers reminds us to find the joy in nature and make it a part of our life.
Butterfly enters our life as a messenger for change. If it comes to us hurt or ill, Butterfly asks us to stop keeping our joy at bay. It may take some time being alone with ourselves to listen to Butterfly's gentle requests that we allow the natural transformation of things in our lives."
I looked it up online and it is a pipevine swallowtail. Here are some pictures we took. (The last 2 are photos I got off the internet of live butterflies of the same kind)
I also had a visit from a hawk the other day. We have seen him flying around our neighborhood for a number of years and we figured he had a nest in the nearby woods. The other day when I came home, he was actually sitting right on my fence in the front yard. I pulled in the driveway and watched him for a minute- he just stared at me. He didn't fly away until I got out of the car. He was really neat- he had big red eyes. I looked him up too, and I am pretty sure he is a Cooper's hawk. Either that or a sharp-shinned hawk; the two are very similar. Here is a picture from the internet of a Cooper's hawk.
"While many birds are regarded as messengers between the worlds of spirit and matter, Hawk is considered to be more dedicated to this role. It symbolizes clear-sightedness and a long memory. It's also believed that if you hear a hawk cry during a journey, it's wise to be alert to the possibility of situations that need boldness and decisiveness so that you won't be thrown off balance.
Hawk's cry may also be telling us to open our awareness, for in a deeper sense this bird symbolizes the messages that are always available to us, if we pay attention. In this sense Hawk teaches us the lesson of receptivity.
So often we ask for something, either aloud, through repeating or writing affirmations, or through our thoughts. Then we wait and wait, and nothing seems to have happened. Not only haven't we received what we asked for, but we don't even seem to have even received a clue about how to get it.
This is the message of Hawk medicine: The answer is always given. Hawk, while soaring high in the sky, is always alert to the slightest movement on the ground below. When we cultivate that kind of awareness, we are adjusting our vibrations to receive the messages that we want to hear. In this state, we find synchronicity operating. We may be looking for a new place to live and see an article describing the ideal location. We're trying to solve a problem on the job and happen to surf onto a web page that offers a perfect solution.
Not all of our answers come from the outside world. Hawk also stands for inner vision, drawing on our own intuition and psychic awareness. When we trust ourselves, are receptive to answers whatever their source, we soar with Hawk."
Mayo clinic has sent my cousin Brenda the vials for her to get her blood typed, so we can see if she is a possible match. Everyone please continue to keep our families in your prayers.
Today after we got home, we let the dogs out & then I went back inside. Rick went to go get the mail, and he called me outside to come look at something. A really lovely butterfly had found it's final resting place just beside our driveway. It must have floated down from somewhere right after we went inside. It was nice, we stopped for a few moments to admire it & life slowed down for a minute after a crazy day. It was very fragile; I still don't know how it made it into our yard in one piece. I wondered what message it was trying to bring us?
Not everyone feels that animals have a soul or a spirit but I do. I also think they try & communicate with us, I think they try and be messengers & want us to be part of their life journey too. While I very strongly consider myself a Christian, I still believe the rest of God's creation has a spirit. I have always had a special love for animals, and even though having 5 animals in my small house can get crazy, they remind me every day what life should be like. They love without limit, are the most faithful friends you could ever ask for, and all they ask for in return is our love.
So, tonight I looked up butterflies online. I found it very intriguing:
"Butterfly spends the first part of its life crawling the earth, before metamorphosis leads it to spin a home for stasis (known as a cocoon). After transforming, Butterfly is reborn as various beautiful colored winged creatures of the air.
This insect is extremely sensitive to the Harmony of Earth, and is the first creature to leave a damaged ecology. Butterfly's graceful dancing-like appearance on flowers reminds us to find the joy in nature and make it a part of our life.
Butterfly enters our life as a messenger for change. If it comes to us hurt or ill, Butterfly asks us to stop keeping our joy at bay. It may take some time being alone with ourselves to listen to Butterfly's gentle requests that we allow the natural transformation of things in our lives."
I looked it up online and it is a pipevine swallowtail. Here are some pictures we took. (The last 2 are photos I got off the internet of live butterflies of the same kind)
I also had a visit from a hawk the other day. We have seen him flying around our neighborhood for a number of years and we figured he had a nest in the nearby woods. The other day when I came home, he was actually sitting right on my fence in the front yard. I pulled in the driveway and watched him for a minute- he just stared at me. He didn't fly away until I got out of the car. He was really neat- he had big red eyes. I looked him up too, and I am pretty sure he is a Cooper's hawk. Either that or a sharp-shinned hawk; the two are very similar. Here is a picture from the internet of a Cooper's hawk.
"While many birds are regarded as messengers between the worlds of spirit and matter, Hawk is considered to be more dedicated to this role. It symbolizes clear-sightedness and a long memory. It's also believed that if you hear a hawk cry during a journey, it's wise to be alert to the possibility of situations that need boldness and decisiveness so that you won't be thrown off balance.
Hawk's cry may also be telling us to open our awareness, for in a deeper sense this bird symbolizes the messages that are always available to us, if we pay attention. In this sense Hawk teaches us the lesson of receptivity.
So often we ask for something, either aloud, through repeating or writing affirmations, or through our thoughts. Then we wait and wait, and nothing seems to have happened. Not only haven't we received what we asked for, but we don't even seem to have even received a clue about how to get it.
This is the message of Hawk medicine: The answer is always given. Hawk, while soaring high in the sky, is always alert to the slightest movement on the ground below. When we cultivate that kind of awareness, we are adjusting our vibrations to receive the messages that we want to hear. In this state, we find synchronicity operating. We may be looking for a new place to live and see an article describing the ideal location. We're trying to solve a problem on the job and happen to surf onto a web page that offers a perfect solution.
Not all of our answers come from the outside world. Hawk also stands for inner vision, drawing on our own intuition and psychic awareness. When we trust ourselves, are receptive to answers whatever their source, we soar with Hawk."
Thursday, September 11, 2008
An article I want to share
I'm sitting awake right now, my husband sleeping in the next room but as usual sleep isn't happening for me just yet. I wanted to share an internet article about a baby who was born at 21 weeks. Strangely enough, her name is Amillia. Amillia's good fortune though was that the doctors had time to get her out via c-section. The trauma of labor & birth is what killed our Amelia.
But I wanted people to see the pictures of this baby. She is so very tiny, but she is real. And, believe it or not, our Amelia was bigger than this baby- an inch longer and over an ounce heavier.
The baby in the article is an African-American baby, so she looks alot darker & browner, but this is startling close to what our daughter looked like. Tiny and frail, but very much a baby.
I get very frustrated because I feel like many people around me think that, after 6 months, I shouldn't still be grieving like I do. Like I am content to wallow in my grief.
I think alot of people think that unless you lose a 'real' 8-lbs full term baby, it's easier to heal. That a baby you never 'knew' doesn't have the same attachment. But it doesn't matter if your baby died at 5 weeks, 5 months, or full-term. Your child is gone. No one expects a mother who loses an infant to be OK after 6 months. No one expects the mother whose toddler dies to be OK after 6 months.
I can also see how uncomfortable it makes people when I talk about my daughter. Especially people with their own new or soon-to-be babies. Being reminded that babies DO die makes people feel uneasy. But that doesn't mean I should be expected not to talk about her.
I know very well that life must go on, and the world will keep moving around me. But I still feel like it's moving without me. And I think it's OK for me to still feel like that. I'm working through it, but it's a slow process.
Look at these pictures, and if this was your child, if you held her tiny body & felt it go from warm to cold in your hands, would you be back to your normal self in 6 months?
http://funny.zeeblum.com/2007/02/21/baby-born-at-less-than-22-weeks-survives/
But I wanted people to see the pictures of this baby. She is so very tiny, but she is real. And, believe it or not, our Amelia was bigger than this baby- an inch longer and over an ounce heavier.
The baby in the article is an African-American baby, so she looks alot darker & browner, but this is startling close to what our daughter looked like. Tiny and frail, but very much a baby.
I get very frustrated because I feel like many people around me think that, after 6 months, I shouldn't still be grieving like I do. Like I am content to wallow in my grief.
I think alot of people think that unless you lose a 'real' 8-lbs full term baby, it's easier to heal. That a baby you never 'knew' doesn't have the same attachment. But it doesn't matter if your baby died at 5 weeks, 5 months, or full-term. Your child is gone. No one expects a mother who loses an infant to be OK after 6 months. No one expects the mother whose toddler dies to be OK after 6 months.
I can also see how uncomfortable it makes people when I talk about my daughter. Especially people with their own new or soon-to-be babies. Being reminded that babies DO die makes people feel uneasy. But that doesn't mean I should be expected not to talk about her.
I know very well that life must go on, and the world will keep moving around me. But I still feel like it's moving without me. And I think it's OK for me to still feel like that. I'm working through it, but it's a slow process.
Look at these pictures, and if this was your child, if you held her tiny body & felt it go from warm to cold in your hands, would you be back to your normal self in 6 months?
http://funny.zeeblum.com/2007/02/21/baby-born-at-less-than-22-weeks-survives/
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Stupid storm...
I think stupid Tropical Storm Fay killed my passiflora caerulea vine..... the storm blew all the beautiful flowers away but I also don't see the leaves anymore. I keep waiting for it to spring back up but nothing yet... keep your fingers crossed. :(
Monday, September 8, 2008
"100 Years" by Five for Fighting
I put the song "100 Years" by Five for Fighting on my playlist; scroll down, it's near the bottom. I just love this song. It's about how even though life changes & complicates as we grow up, we should never lose that wild heart we have when we are young and care-free. It's about making peace with your past & where & who you've been. It's about how we should remember each moment because they are over so quickly. A lifetime seems so long but it really isn't.
http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/fiveforfighting/100years.html
http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/fiveforfighting/100years.html
Nephrologist appt today
I had my nephrologist follow-up today; I see her every 6 weeks now. I had my bloodowork done on Thursday- my creatanine levels were up a little from 6 weeks ago, which means my kidney function levels were down from 20% to about 18%, so no dialysis yet. I knew they wouldn't be great, because I did not hydrate very well at all the day of & the day before the bloodwork. I actually forgot my water bottle the day of the test. Also I was bad & had a cup of coffee that morning. The dr also said that one of medications, Diovan can produce a slightly higher creatanine reading on my bloodwork. But the Diovan is partly to help my blood pressure, and mostly to help me not spill so much protein in my urine. She said that next month, she might back me off the Diovan a little. My blood pressures have been pretty consistently around 100/65, so I have a little room to go up on that, if it means lowering my creatanine & keeping me off dialysis a little longer.
She really stressed the urgency to find a living donor it at all possible. I am kind of in a critical window- if I can get transplanted before I have dialysis, the success of my surgery will be drastically better. Any remaining function in my own kidneys will take strain off of the transplanted organ. And better surgery success means better chance of us getting pregnant again sooner- possibly after only a year.
My sister will be unable to donate because of some of the medications she is on. So, my awesome Gillooly cousins are next. Brenda, and Chris Frische (Rachel's husband). Gillooly kinfolk- next time you talk to or see either of them, just know how wonderful they are & what they have been willing to do for me! It still is amazing to me.
I am kind of aggravated with Mayo Clinic's living donor department. My sister was really proactive in trying to get the info & paperwork she needed from them, and they really drug their feet. She also had to make multiple phone calls to get someone to call her back. *sigh*
I'm not sure if Rachel reads my blog, but if you do, I promise I will call you soon. If I'm not at work, I am trying to keep my house clean (hah) or making dinner- my poor hubby doesn't get off work till 8:30 so we usually don't get to eat until 8:30-8:45 on a good night. Then there's the five animals and the ensuing messes they create, bless their hearts.
For you Yankees, that's a Southern way of softening an insult or gripe. Somehow it just sounds kinder- "That Billy, he is such a dumb-ass, bless his heart".
When I'm not cleaning or cooking, I'm sleeping. That's the part of this that has physically been the hardest- the fatigue. It sucks, but such is life for now.
She really stressed the urgency to find a living donor it at all possible. I am kind of in a critical window- if I can get transplanted before I have dialysis, the success of my surgery will be drastically better. Any remaining function in my own kidneys will take strain off of the transplanted organ. And better surgery success means better chance of us getting pregnant again sooner- possibly after only a year.
My sister will be unable to donate because of some of the medications she is on. So, my awesome Gillooly cousins are next. Brenda, and Chris Frische (Rachel's husband). Gillooly kinfolk- next time you talk to or see either of them, just know how wonderful they are & what they have been willing to do for me! It still is amazing to me.
I am kind of aggravated with Mayo Clinic's living donor department. My sister was really proactive in trying to get the info & paperwork she needed from them, and they really drug their feet. She also had to make multiple phone calls to get someone to call her back. *sigh*
I'm not sure if Rachel reads my blog, but if you do, I promise I will call you soon. If I'm not at work, I am trying to keep my house clean (hah) or making dinner- my poor hubby doesn't get off work till 8:30 so we usually don't get to eat until 8:30-8:45 on a good night. Then there's the five animals and the ensuing messes they create, bless their hearts.
For you Yankees, that's a Southern way of softening an insult or gripe. Somehow it just sounds kinder- "That Billy, he is such a dumb-ass, bless his heart".
When I'm not cleaning or cooking, I'm sleeping. That's the part of this that has physically been the hardest- the fatigue. It sucks, but such is life for now.
Saturday, September 6, 2008
Plans for my reading room
We are working on finish our reading/ sitting room. Rick has given me artistic license to make the room as "foofy" as I want. Seeing as I tend to have foofy taste, and I have tried to keep the foof in our house at a minimum thus far, this makes me very happy.
A brief description:
The floor is a medium oak color laminate. Walls are a very pale sage green, with wainscoting in a darker sage. Trim is a creamy antique ivory color.
Only furniture we have in there for sure right now is a beautiful armoir that was give to me by our friends David & Chris. It's the only piece of Ethan Allen furniture I own! It looks pretty much like this (another Ethan Allen piece from the same collection)- except mine is not quite as wide, and the doors have mirrors.
We are moving the bookcase in there, which we are painting to match the armoir. It is about 5' wide, and 4' high.
I already have some ivory lace/ embroidered curtains that we are not using anymore, so in the interest of not spending money, I think I am using them in the reading room.
So now, I am deciding about light fixture, window treatment, rug, some sort of chair.
I would really like to have this chaise lounge but Jesus Lord it's ridiculous expensive ($500). I will mostly likely be getting something similar. That is not $500.
Here's what I am thinking for lamp, table, light fixture, & rug.
I think it will be lovely! As you can see it will definately be a 'no pets allowed' room.
A brief description:
The floor is a medium oak color laminate. Walls are a very pale sage green, with wainscoting in a darker sage. Trim is a creamy antique ivory color.
Only furniture we have in there for sure right now is a beautiful armoir that was give to me by our friends David & Chris. It's the only piece of Ethan Allen furniture I own! It looks pretty much like this (another Ethan Allen piece from the same collection)- except mine is not quite as wide, and the doors have mirrors.
We are moving the bookcase in there, which we are painting to match the armoir. It is about 5' wide, and 4' high.
I already have some ivory lace/ embroidered curtains that we are not using anymore, so in the interest of not spending money, I think I am using them in the reading room.
So now, I am deciding about light fixture, window treatment, rug, some sort of chair.
I would really like to have this chaise lounge but Jesus Lord it's ridiculous expensive ($500). I will mostly likely be getting something similar. That is not $500.
Here's what I am thinking for lamp, table, light fixture, & rug.
I think it will be lovely! As you can see it will definately be a 'no pets allowed' room.
Friday, September 5, 2008
Music!
As you might have already figured out, my/ our blog now plays music! I admit, the pink background for the player was my doing.
I figured this blog needed a little pick-me-up.
I will add & change song(s) from time to time, so enjoy! Browse through the list & see what there is. Let's see if anyone is surprised (or horrified) that I like some of the stuff I do. I might sing it day in & day out, but my listening tastes are not all classical all the time, believe it or not! For instance, I wonder how many of my dear blogites knew of my love of classic country & western, and also bluegrass & old-fashioned Southern gospel...? Or Barbara Streisand...? Your girl is lovely Hubble. *sniff*
Meeeemories, like the corners of my mind.
That is Rick's favorite song.
Parental Advisory: Explicit Lyrics- I have added the song "Bulls On Parade" because it is my Guitar Hero jam. I totally slay when I play that song.
I figured this blog needed a little pick-me-up.
I will add & change song(s) from time to time, so enjoy! Browse through the list & see what there is. Let's see if anyone is surprised (or horrified) that I like some of the stuff I do. I might sing it day in & day out, but my listening tastes are not all classical all the time, believe it or not! For instance, I wonder how many of my dear blogites knew of my love of classic country & western, and also bluegrass & old-fashioned Southern gospel...? Or Barbara Streisand...? Your girl is lovely Hubble. *sniff*
Meeeemories, like the corners of my mind.
That is Rick's favorite song.
Parental Advisory: Explicit Lyrics- I have added the song "Bulls On Parade" because it is my Guitar Hero jam. I totally slay when I play that song.
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Bloodwork today
Yesterday I went back to the hematologist for another follow-up. He has been treating my anemia. He said on my labs from late July, my hemoglobin looked really good. So it's possible that the anemia was primarily pregnancy-related and not caused by my kidney failure. I went & had more blood work today; I go back to see him again in 2 weeks.
Rick had some blood work done yesterday- they had trouble getting the vein on his arm, so they had to draw from the back of his hand. He was telling me about it and said that it hurt, but then he thought for a minute and said, "No sympathy, huh?"
You got that right! haha
Today I also went for my monthly blood work to check on my kidney function. Last time I was right at 20%. If i get to 15% or below, that's when I have to start dialysis. I see my nephrologist on Monday and we will be going over the blood work results.
I've been pretty stressed out about it. It's pretty overwhelming to go to bed every night knowing there's always a chance that any day, I might be bound to a machine to filter my blood 3-6 hours a day, 3-5 days a week. Every day we have to think about the fact that even with dialysis, there is a real possibility that I won't live long enough to find me a kidney.
A friend of Rick's from high school, her brother was on dialysis and got a staph infection (which is not uncommon) and died this past week. He was only 40.
I read all the time about these amazing strong people who are sick and say they're never scared, they just accept what comes at them, that they just greet every day with a smile and never let it get them down. I just don't know how to be one of those people. Maybe it means I am weak, but I AM scared, and I'm not OK with all the crappy things that have happened to us. I'm not always smiling and it does get me down a lot.
Anyways, I am off to make macadamia-crusted mahi for dinner.
Rick had some blood work done yesterday- they had trouble getting the vein on his arm, so they had to draw from the back of his hand. He was telling me about it and said that it hurt, but then he thought for a minute and said, "No sympathy, huh?"
You got that right! haha
Today I also went for my monthly blood work to check on my kidney function. Last time I was right at 20%. If i get to 15% or below, that's when I have to start dialysis. I see my nephrologist on Monday and we will be going over the blood work results.
I've been pretty stressed out about it. It's pretty overwhelming to go to bed every night knowing there's always a chance that any day, I might be bound to a machine to filter my blood 3-6 hours a day, 3-5 days a week. Every day we have to think about the fact that even with dialysis, there is a real possibility that I won't live long enough to find me a kidney.
A friend of Rick's from high school, her brother was on dialysis and got a staph infection (which is not uncommon) and died this past week. He was only 40.
I read all the time about these amazing strong people who are sick and say they're never scared, they just accept what comes at them, that they just greet every day with a smile and never let it get them down. I just don't know how to be one of those people. Maybe it means I am weak, but I AM scared, and I'm not OK with all the crappy things that have happened to us. I'm not always smiling and it does get me down a lot.
Anyways, I am off to make macadamia-crusted mahi for dinner.
Friday, August 29, 2008
Quick kidney-related update
I saw my primary care doctor this week, we addressed getting me on a cholesterol medication. I started on Crestor, for which I have to have bloodwork every 4-6 weeks. All cholesterol meds carry a very very small chance of liver and/ or muscle tissue damage, so they will be monitoring that.
I see my hematologist next week; he is the doctor treating my anemia. There has been ALOT of confusion with their office, and stupid Quest Diagnostics labs. I haven't had a Procrit injection for the anemia in a couple of months, and I am not feeling as bad as I used to. The severity of the anemia may have been aggravated by being pregnant, so I am going for more bloodwork on Monday to see where me hemoglobin level is at, and we will take it from there.
I'm in the process of trying to find a new neprologist. There's been a number of things that have happened since January that have made both Rick & I uncomfortable with the one I see currently. She is a super nice lady, and has been so good to me, but we have really felt uneasy with some of the decisions and info we have been given. For example, when I was still in the hospital in January, she told me that I would not be able to have any more children after my kidney transplant. I cried & cried for 3 days. But since then, we have found through our own research that that is NOT true anymore. The rejection medications have changed so much over the years and now post-transplant women have babies all the time. All of the surgeons & doctors at Mayo have said Yes, you will be able to have children.
There's been a number of other things, so we just feel it's not a good fit for us.
So, I called my coordinator Rhonda at Mayo, and she said she wanted to get me in as a patient of one of their in-house nephrologists. I would love this, and it would make the whole process alot easier. No more "Chinese telephone" with all of my labs, records, etc. Unfortunately, there are currently only 2 nephrologists on staff at Mayo, and Rhonda said they are not taking new patients right now. But she is going to try and get me in as soon as they have an opening.
On a different note...
College football season is upon us! The Gators kick off their season tomorrow @ noon against the Rainbow Warriors.... Hawaii. It should be a shut-out! We have some friends coming over to watch the game with us on our awesome 42" plasma TV in high-definition.
My Uncle John (dad's brother) and Aunt Ruth Ann are going to the game in Gainseville at The Swamp, and then will be heading to my Mom & Dad's for dinner. I am looking forward to seeing them!
Here is a song to brighten your day.
(sung to the tune of the Oscar Meyer bologna song)
My head coach has a first name, it's U-R-B-A-N
My head coach has a last name, it's M-E-Y-E-R
I love to watch the Gators play,
and if you ask you'll hear me saaaaaay...
That Urban Meyer has a way
with F-L-O-R-I-D-A
Go Gators!
I see my hematologist next week; he is the doctor treating my anemia. There has been ALOT of confusion with their office, and stupid Quest Diagnostics labs. I haven't had a Procrit injection for the anemia in a couple of months, and I am not feeling as bad as I used to. The severity of the anemia may have been aggravated by being pregnant, so I am going for more bloodwork on Monday to see where me hemoglobin level is at, and we will take it from there.
I'm in the process of trying to find a new neprologist. There's been a number of things that have happened since January that have made both Rick & I uncomfortable with the one I see currently. She is a super nice lady, and has been so good to me, but we have really felt uneasy with some of the decisions and info we have been given. For example, when I was still in the hospital in January, she told me that I would not be able to have any more children after my kidney transplant. I cried & cried for 3 days. But since then, we have found through our own research that that is NOT true anymore. The rejection medications have changed so much over the years and now post-transplant women have babies all the time. All of the surgeons & doctors at Mayo have said Yes, you will be able to have children.
There's been a number of other things, so we just feel it's not a good fit for us.
So, I called my coordinator Rhonda at Mayo, and she said she wanted to get me in as a patient of one of their in-house nephrologists. I would love this, and it would make the whole process alot easier. No more "Chinese telephone" with all of my labs, records, etc. Unfortunately, there are currently only 2 nephrologists on staff at Mayo, and Rhonda said they are not taking new patients right now. But she is going to try and get me in as soon as they have an opening.
On a different note...
College football season is upon us! The Gators kick off their season tomorrow @ noon against the Rainbow Warriors.... Hawaii. It should be a shut-out! We have some friends coming over to watch the game with us on our awesome 42" plasma TV in high-definition.
My Uncle John (dad's brother) and Aunt Ruth Ann are going to the game in Gainseville at The Swamp, and then will be heading to my Mom & Dad's for dinner. I am looking forward to seeing them!
Here is a song to brighten your day.
(sung to the tune of the Oscar Meyer bologna song)
My head coach has a first name, it's U-R-B-A-N
My head coach has a last name, it's M-E-Y-E-R
I love to watch the Gators play,
and if you ask you'll hear me saaaaaay...
That Urban Meyer has a way
with F-L-O-R-I-D-A
Go Gators!
Sunday, August 24, 2008
Finally getting around to uploading vacation pix...
We had a fantastic time on our vacation. We visited my maternal grandmother & my aunts & uncles in Pittsburgh, PA.
We spent one day while we were thee at Kennywood, an amusement park in Pittsburgh. We got there when then opened just after 10am & pretty much shut the place down! We left just before 10:30. It was awesome!!! We almost had to cut the day short- we got almost 3 hours of on & off rain- COLD rain- but we toughed it out. We walked through some fun houses & played in the arcade & eventually the rain let up. We rode all the roller coasters 2-3 times and did as many rides as possible. Well except for the ones that SPIN. I will ride any roller coaster, no matter how scary looking. I will even to the sky coaster, where you free-fall from a tower that's 250 ft high. But spinning? Not for me! It makes me sick, bleh. I can't even ride the teacups at Disney World.
We spent alot of time with family, relaxing or hanging out. We have a great time with my aunts & uncles up there & we both wish we could see them more often.
I was especially excited that I got to bring home some of my great grandfather's artwork. I brought home a beautiful pencil sketch, and a watercolor painting he did of a WW I battle scene. He was a veteran of that war so it meant alot to me to be able to have it. I will take photos of them soon. There is a landscape painting that will be coming home with us eventually, when someone can drive up there. It's too large to put in a suitcase and it makes me really nervous to have it shipped. Sure, they can insure the package, but if they lose it, money can't replace it.
We also did a little touristy driving around town, and visited the Carnegie Museum of Natural History. The have a really awesome hall of dinosaurs, and a great Egyptian exhibit. If you enjoy museums and are ever in or near Pittsburgh, make sure you pay this museum a visit!
Oh and Rick got to see one of the cute groundhogs that have taken up residence in my grandma's backyard, and also one of the bunnies that like to eat the clover growing in the driveway.
It was so hard leaving though, because I knew it would probably be the last time I would be at my grandma's house.
All in all it was a great trip. It was nice to get away from stress, work, doctors, sickness, and sadness.
Here are some highlights! I will post the rest to my photobucket tomorrow.
We spent one day while we were thee at Kennywood, an amusement park in Pittsburgh. We got there when then opened just after 10am & pretty much shut the place down! We left just before 10:30. It was awesome!!! We almost had to cut the day short- we got almost 3 hours of on & off rain- COLD rain- but we toughed it out. We walked through some fun houses & played in the arcade & eventually the rain let up. We rode all the roller coasters 2-3 times and did as many rides as possible. Well except for the ones that SPIN. I will ride any roller coaster, no matter how scary looking. I will even to the sky coaster, where you free-fall from a tower that's 250 ft high. But spinning? Not for me! It makes me sick, bleh. I can't even ride the teacups at Disney World.
We spent alot of time with family, relaxing or hanging out. We have a great time with my aunts & uncles up there & we both wish we could see them more often.
I was especially excited that I got to bring home some of my great grandfather's artwork. I brought home a beautiful pencil sketch, and a watercolor painting he did of a WW I battle scene. He was a veteran of that war so it meant alot to me to be able to have it. I will take photos of them soon. There is a landscape painting that will be coming home with us eventually, when someone can drive up there. It's too large to put in a suitcase and it makes me really nervous to have it shipped. Sure, they can insure the package, but if they lose it, money can't replace it.
We also did a little touristy driving around town, and visited the Carnegie Museum of Natural History. The have a really awesome hall of dinosaurs, and a great Egyptian exhibit. If you enjoy museums and are ever in or near Pittsburgh, make sure you pay this museum a visit!
Oh and Rick got to see one of the cute groundhogs that have taken up residence in my grandma's backyard, and also one of the bunnies that like to eat the clover growing in the driveway.
It was so hard leaving though, because I knew it would probably be the last time I would be at my grandma's house.
All in all it was a great trip. It was nice to get away from stress, work, doctors, sickness, and sadness.
Here are some highlights! I will post the rest to my photobucket tomorrow.
Friday, August 22, 2008
Passiflora Caerulea
We have all kinds of strange weed-y vines growing in parts of our yard. There's one area on the side of the house that has some tall bushes, and vines have grown up through them. Rick initially thought it was Virginia Creeper. Well a couple months ago one of the vines started blooming and Rick commented, I didn't think Virginina Creeper bloomed... When I first noticed it had flowers, I saw one through our bedroom window I couldn't tell it was a flower from a distance. It looked like some kind of weird bug! Which is not uncommon in Florida, so I went to check it out & I was surpised to see it was a flower.
They were very bizarre! Almost exotic & tropical.But things have been hectic & busy so we haven't paid much more attention to it.
Yesterday evening we were walking the yard to survey any storm damage and I got to looking at the blooms on the vine again, and I said to Rick, You know.. these flowers really are pretty! I wonder what they are?
I took a couple really pretty pictures of the flower which I will upload at a later date. Since I am house-bound today because of the storm, curiosity got the better of me & I decided to find out what the heck was growing in my yard.
I did a Google image search for "purple & white flower". And sure enough, not very far into the search results, I was able to find a web page with a picture of our funky flower. It is...
Passion vine! Passiflora Caerulea.
(These are not the pictures I took but our flowers look EXACTLY the same!)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Passiflora_caerulea
I wonder how it made it's way into our yard? But it is really neat looking! So we are going to let it stay. Apparently it will make little passion fruits that are edible, and the flowers can be used for tea.
They were very bizarre! Almost exotic & tropical.But things have been hectic & busy so we haven't paid much more attention to it.
Yesterday evening we were walking the yard to survey any storm damage and I got to looking at the blooms on the vine again, and I said to Rick, You know.. these flowers really are pretty! I wonder what they are?
I took a couple really pretty pictures of the flower which I will upload at a later date. Since I am house-bound today because of the storm, curiosity got the better of me & I decided to find out what the heck was growing in my yard.
I did a Google image search for "purple & white flower". And sure enough, not very far into the search results, I was able to find a web page with a picture of our funky flower. It is...
Passion vine! Passiflora Caerulea.
(These are not the pictures I took but our flowers look EXACTLY the same!)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Passiflora_caerulea
I wonder how it made it's way into our yard? But it is really neat looking! So we are going to let it stay. Apparently it will make little passion fruits that are edible, and the flowers can be used for tea.
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Rick & Erin at the Biltmore House, Christmas '09